MY BACKGROUND
God loves everyone regardless of physical or spiritual conditions. We are all called to become a part of the body of Christ and the body of Christ is one family. We must accept Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the cross to become part of this great family of God; and when we do, we must respond to His great love for us. Each of us is called and destined with purpose to do something. This ministry is about the call of God on my life to reveal to others what He has shown me. The expression of this call has been both verbal and written as I have spoken and written what I have heard God speak to my heart out of His word and from the Spirit. The call upon my life is a prophetic one that some may not find agreement with due to their religious teachings or church doctrine but I challenge you to read the word for yourself (Deuteronomy 18:15/Joel 2:28/Ephesian 4:11-12/I Cor 14:5) and see that God is still the same yesterday, today and forever.
Though God has always preferred to speak to us one on one, there are times when the message must come through a servant called for that purpose because of the dullness of the people’s ears. Prophets are a gift to the people that will hear them because they have been schooled under the Spirit of God to speak what God sends. And this, as all messages received from God’s messengers, must agree with the written Word of God to be validated as truth from God.
Any message from God has the ultimate purpose of leading the people closer to Himself. As people realize how faithful and good God is, they are drawn to His great love for them. God’s message to us is that He loves us and wants to bless us with more of Himself. But when the people fall away from God, He uses this gift to speak to the people and remind them of God’s great love for them and that He invites them back to His bosom. It is God, Himself that will validate His true servant and expose the false ones at the appropriate time. So I do not take lightly the call of God on my life nor am I so presumptive as to speak my own words for God. My respect and my godly fear provide a boundary where I am happy to stay within while I seek to obey God.
FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS
August 2013
All of those persons truly called of God have felt unworthy of His call as do I. But Holy Scripture tells us that the call is without repentance and God does not undo His call because of our weakness. He instead fortifies us and makes us to stand as He did Gideon (Jg 6:11). He personally grooms His servants for the call. Isaiah had his mouth purified with hot coals by an angel because he knew he had an unholy tongue. Jeremiah called from his mother’s womb offered a reason why he could not be used: he was but a child. I knew as I was reading scripture in Isaiah many years ago that God was calling me and I, while reading and hearing, wanted to duck my head because I knew the difficult lives prophets of the bible experienced. But there is no where we can go to hide from God.
The Omniscient One knows who He is calling and He knows our life from beginning to end when He calls us. We are called for a particular time or season for which we are suited and prepared. What we do before or even after is not as important as fulfilling that particular purpose for God. King Saul was called to be the first king over Israel and he fulfilled that purpose, even though his personal choices caused him to be a bad king. Samuel was dedicated to God from birth and fulfilled that call of prophet very well. And then there was Esther called to be an intercessor for her people and, though we do not know much about her life before or after that period, she fulfilled her call to save her people. She was called for just such a time.
Prophets are called for a particular time and purpose that God has preordained to suit His empowerment of that servant. There may be many things they are not but what is important is their fitness for the one purpose for which they are called. For that purpose they are anointed of God and He makes them to stand despite the odds.
In this my sixtieth year, I look back and see that I am presently without personal family, financial wealth or an established church. At this time and as a follower of the Lord, I have to ask myself, what was it all for? When I look at the experiences I have had and the places I have lived, it even boggles my own mind. But when I look at my life through my purpose, it all makes sense. It was all part of the training and part of the plan to prepare me for my purpose to be used of God. God never tolerated my dependence on anyone but Him. Many of those external things would have prevented the final results God sought in me: a sold out servant that He could use for such a time as this. I was made without the persuasion and hindrance of church indoctrination, job dependence, residential confinement, heart hardening through college education or a husband’s containment. God grabbed my heart as soon as I was born again and walked me through my past to my present. My sustaining allegiance has been to God. I learned early to turn down many seemingly lucrative offers that were temptations or hindrances to my purpose. He is the only one that has sustained me through the years, even though there were some who assisted in my life for a season, I suffered many otherwise lonely and difficult times without the external benefits many around me had. Though I like many have had my times of stubbornness after salvation, I never threw in the towel and was always, even then, aware of God’s guidance of my life. Yes, I talked to God while in my disobedience (Job 13:15). I was always sure of God regardless of who walked out of my life. I sometimes asked Him why He did not keep me from stepping into a particular trap. Sometimes He did prevent it and sometimes He did not stop me. That was part of the training. I had to learn to listen to the soft warnings of the Holy Spirit and learn what it was like to be in a mess with God alone able to deliver and welcome me back to His protecting arms. In the end, He is the only one we can depend on. I rested in the fact that I was His child and He was my Father teaching me how to walk with Him.
The dark times I went through were part of my deliverance and part of my training. What good is a teacher for God who has never experienced anything? He would not be able to identify with the people he was sent to help. But having walked through the fire you can identify with its allure and its danger. And having survived it, one is able to warn others to avoid its danger.
I have spent an equal amount of time in the world and with God. The last 30 years of my life has been spent studying God’s Word and listening to His counsel. I now realize all the experience of the various jobs, changing residents and even refraining from college was God’s way of preserving His direction for my life. So many times I wanted to go to a bible college and the answer was always, “No.” I kept trying to go and would end up dropping out. I could not understand why so many great ministers went to college and God would not allow me to go, until He finally broke it down to me and settled the issue. He reinforced the message to me three ways: spiritual, natural and scriptural. After His lesson, I was fully persuaded that though it may have been for others it was not for me. To explain it as briefly as possible: If I went to bible school, God would have to undo the teaching errors that man would put in my conscience (Jo 14:26, Lk 12:12). I liked the fact that He cared enough for me to keep me from that temptation. (2021 update: Eight years after this original writing, God has proven Himself faithful and trustworthy. I have witnessed why it was necessary to trust God and His teaching rather than man because so much false doctrine has been exposed and what God taught me has stood the test. Praise God!)
So my training consisted of life’s lessons, long periods studying the Scripture with the guidance of the Holy Ghost whispering in my ear all during the day over the years. I had to go where He directed, speak when He told me to speak as He revealed to me things I was to see. Often when I wanted to act or speak out He would not allow it; I was still in training. But there comes a time that we are made for when it is time to speak what He has put in us. This is such a time. This is the time I was made for and I will be sharing what I heard while walking with the Lord. God allowed me time to ask all my questions until I, in silence, had nothing else to ask. Some things I recorded while listening and others I retained as lessons.
Truly God has a great love for all people and for His church. He suffered the man, Jesus, to identify with us and be crucified to save us. He has tolerated your sin and mine until we could get to a place where we could know Him.
God has prepared people and is preparing people to take their rightful place in history to bring about His will in the earth. Those that are not called as His special messengers for such occasions need to listen in faith to escape trouble. Those with a spiritual ear should be able to hear the Spirit as I heard the Spirit through others who taught while I listened. We equally have to be discerning to make sure we are hearing from God and not man. God will personally lead each of us that want to be led. There are so many false leaders who mislead people who do not know how to discern the truth because they do not read the bible for themselves. You must read the word to be able to properly try the spirit that is speaking to you. I adjure you to do so. Believe only the word that agrees with God’s written Word. Be like the believers in Berea: “…they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so (Acts 17:11).”
After having been freed from the bondage and hindrance of past church restrictions, I am charged to speak what God says to whomever He tells me to speak. Denominations and titles have bound the mouth of many. I know you are probably thinking, “But we all have to be part of a church.” I believe it and believe this too will be resolved in God’s time. I established a church some years ago, until God assured me that was not what He was calling me to at that time. We, the people – not the building, are still the church no matter where we go. (Jo 10:9) ‘I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.” Remember Philip, newly called as a deacon, was sent by the Spirit to the desert to teach, preach and baptize the Eunuch (Act 8:29). We must be indoctrinated by the Word, not church rituals (Rom 12:2). The Word frees us to follow Christ (like Philip) while church indoctrination keeps us in bondage. (Jo 8:36) “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” I do acknowledge my allegiance to the African American community because that is part of my assignment. We are first called to our own people as written in Mt 10 and Deu 18:15. But God has no favorites and will both bless and punish according to our obedience to His Word.
Much of what I am going to say, I have already said in one of my books. But I expect to be much more specific and direct in speaking to the problems we are addressing today. There is a gradual growth in my books just as my growth had to be gradual There are people much more capable than I on expounding the scriptures. They are called and trained for that assignment. My ministry is to speak the many things God allowed me to witness while walking with Him and to relay those things to the people of God. And God only allows us to come into our time of ministry after we have grown to that point of readiness. At my age, though I have the same needs and desires as anyone else of my age and gender, I have seen the futility of giving up God for any of those things. We have to be willing to forsake all, not knowing whether or not God will require it of us. And in this, the latter portion of my life, I will not deny God for temporal things. I have been thoroughly tested in many of those things and chose God.
Those that would say that there is no God and that these are just thoughts or ideas in my head, I would say, “Leave me to my thoughts and ideas that have kept me through some very difficult days and I will leave you to yours.” It is the fool that has said in his heart that there is no God (Ps 53:1). Everyone has a god of some sort. Those that say they have no god have chosen Satan by default.
I want to remind the church that it is at times like these, when both the church and the government are rejecting the truth of God’s Word that God Himself arises in His prophets before He, Himself, comes on the scene to settle the matter of sin. Those that do not choose to listen to His prophets are both judged for that and damned because they did not heed the warnings to escape the oncoming danger. I discussed the work of the prophet more thoroughly in my book, “Silencing the Voice of the Prophets”.
I discussed the dilemma that America is facing in my book, “Elephant in the Room: The Economy and Whose Job It Is To Fix It.” I mention this book not for sales but because I will not go into all those details again at this time. And I will speak very broadly about some of those issues already covered in my books and give more detail only as needed. But America is at a cross road where she must decide whether or not she will throw off God entirely. This nation has already spoken through many of its new laws and practices but God demands a final answer of which America is not far from giving. The intercession of many believers is holding off the wrath that awaits America’s refusal to keep Jehovah God as her God. It is important that people understand that some leaders having gone to extreme length in error will not turn back to truth without some pressure or coercion applied on them. True prophets speaking at this time should encourage those believers that have been silent, that now is the time to speak up. I want to share with you how God showed me a way that Satan comes in to destroy the saints.
There was a church that I observed who had a strong history of standing for the truth. The people were well taught and devoted to God. Over time, a weak pastor came in and slowly began to dissuade them from their strong stand on solid doctrine. Their devotion to the pastor and failure to stand up for what they believed caused them to weaken like water. It amazed me how quickly a strong church could deny simple truth that even spiritual babes were expected to know.
God allowed me to see this because I often wondered at how quickly Israel gave up on God. This taught me that many will give up if they do not stand up individually for convictions and keep God as the Head in their personal walk and as a group. Never let anyone cause you to lose your soul. God will sustain and help you to stand even if you are the last one standing for truth. I am sure these people would not have believed some years earlier that they would ever forsake God.
That is equally the story of America and how she will go if Christians do not stand up at this hour. Little lies and truths denied weaken people until they eventually shut up and stop fighting against adversaries. People want so much to belong and fit in until some will compromise to get that place of fellowship. We have seen our nation compromise on one principle after another. It is at this point of weakness that anyone can lead the people astray because they are afraid. This is the story of how Israel was defeated. Weak kings led them astray little by little with their idol worship until they were easily defeated by the enemy. We do not take down the truth we know because of any little known or widely known speaker or preacher. We have seen some of them fall recently (I Jn 2:4, 15). God will confirm His truth in your heart (I Jn 2:20). We are always on our guard against the lies of Satan because there is always a war going on for the soul of a believer (Mt 26:41, I Pet 5:8). We live our life every day on watch for our God and in defense against the attack of the enemy. We are to be battle ready at all times (Eph 6:11).
But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Co 15:57
For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. Jn 5:4
So why is it that Americans do not know that they are in a battle right now. There is a battle going on for the soul of America. Those at the forefront of the battle are politicians, actors, civil right leaders, reporters and protestors against godly morals. What ever happened to the church? In times of war, God always spoke to His people, aka, believers of God (Read Judges). Why is the church body sitting back at a time of war and allowing worldly leaders to lead the battle when they do not believe in God and cannot win? The answer is because the church is busy pursuing wealth to have a lifestyle like the actors in Hollywood. The church has been told a falsehood by leaders who have stopped following Christ and told the church that they must pursue the wealth of this world. We are to pursue God and seek His knowledge then wealth will overtake the righteous that follows the Lord (Mt 6:33). While some religious leaders are robbing the people of their wealth and getting wealthy themselves, they continue telling the people to give up their money so that the giver can get wealth through giving in the offering. This is spiritual lottery! It is a lie! Jesus did not teach this lie; Satan did! Jesus did teach give and it shall be given unto you but it was not about swapping money for money. Jesus told the rich man to give up his money to the poor and follow Him. He was called to give up his money to get the better blessing of wisdom and salvation. He had to give up his stumbling block for Jesus. Jesus taught us about a heart of giving, as shown in the woman who gave little in contrast to the rich men in the temple who gave much (Mar 12:44). Bear in mind that Satan also gives gifts to his servants that obey him. While Jesus did receive the support of some that ministered to Him, His ministry was to deliver the poor from poverty, sickness and demonic power. Jesus was not a hireling demanding his pay. Jesus taught His disciples that their Father owned it all and that they were heirs of the Father’s wealth. What Jesus taught His disciples were: “(Mt 10:8) Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.” “(Lk 10:4) Carry neither purse, nor scrip, nor shoes: and salute no man by the way.” “(Lk 10:8) And into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you…” We are given an example in the Old Testament of where the ministers became greedy of the offerings and took what they wanted by force.
Also before they burnt the fat, the priest’s servant came, and said to the man that sacrificed, Give flesh to roast for the priest; for he will not have sodden flesh of thee, but raw. And if any man said unto him, Let them not fail to burn the fat presently, and then take as much as thy soul desireth; then he would answer him, Nay; but thou shalt give it me now: and if not, I will take it by force. (1 Sa 2:15-16)
These ministers who were called priests decided to contaminate the sacrificed offering and take by force the better portion of the offering from the people to satisfy their personal greed. These priests, knowingly, disregarded God’s commandment for how they were to receive their portion. The wickedness of the ministers was so hated that many people stopped bringing an offering and eventually abandoned the tabernacle. Even though some ministers today are much smoother in their delivery, the result is the same and God is no more pleased with it today than He was then.
While money is not evil, the love of it is. Prosperity preachers need to preach this message. Jesus told us to be a good steward over the resources He put in our hands but He warned against greed. Is there any wonder that many of those preachers on the national stage have no answers for today’s national dilemmas? Many of those that have sought prosperity have gained the wealth they desired but no longer believe they need Jesus in their lives or cannot grow further for fear of losing their wealth. Jesus rightly proclaimed, “…they have their reward.” There is a righteous way to acquire things and then there is a wrong way. While the church has been seduced to believe this prosperity lie and forsake God’s true way, many of those in their wealthy estate are looking for the joy and peace that Christ so freely provide His followers. Those that pursued wealth are looking for their joy in bottles of liquor or drugs. The church, unfortunately, is trying to be like them, not realizing they already have God’s best in the earth and better to come in eternity with Him. Will the church repent and turn back to God before it is too late?
P.S. – In all the thirty years that I have been writing and speaking about the Lord, I was not led to tell about myself, because my ministry was not about me and my fleshy life could not minister to people. And though still reluctantly, I write only as led by the Spirit to be a witness to others that may need to understand more clearly the ways of God in order to follow by witness and example.
2021 Update: The timidity I had at the beginning of this website (2013) has been overcome by the validation of the Lord in so many instances and has proven that we must walk by faith in God’s word and by His voice rather than wait on visible evidence. I am so thankful for God sustaining me through those timid moments.
Truth and Life Ministries in Christ
J.R. Payne
P.O. Box 52652
Durham, NC 27717
truthandlifeministry1@gmail.com
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