A Testimonial

A Testimonial

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1Co 10:13 

February 10, 2023

It is human nature to overvalue ourselves at times and then there are times when we may think ourselves less than all men. However, in the scripture above we find that God has made it clear that we are as all men and our experiences are common to all men.  God does not have any special people or pets as some may call them who receive the favor of God but not His anger or chastisement. Rather God informs us in Revelation 3:19: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”  And in Hebrew 12:8: “But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.”  So, then God chastens those that He loves, but John assures us in John 3:16 that God loved the whole world so much that He sacrificed His only begotten Son for it.  Those scriptures help us to get it straight that even though God loves us as His children that He will not spare using the rod on us either. God did not spare His only begotten Son, Jesus, from the worst sufferings of all men when He died on the cross.  Yet, unlike Jesus and many of His disciples, men will often turn back or compromise rather than proceed on the course to gain the victory of entering fellowship with the Lord.  This lesson is important particularly for those who preach parents should not punish their children for disobedience. The scriptures tell us Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered.

It was necessary to clarify those points before sharing my testimony lest some believe I think too highly of myself or that God showed me favor that He does not show others.  While it is true that God knew us before we were formed in the belly of our mother, as He told Jeremiah, yet no one receives special treatment.  God will go with us as far as we are willing to walk with Him by faith.  God is a just God and we are all subject to His Hand.  No believer is perfect so none should expect to be spared the corrective experience of chastisement.  Enduring chastisement is a qualifier for entrance to life.  Christ is our example and proof of how God handles His children.

It is important to share my testimony for the benefit of others and to give witness that God’s word is true but also because to do otherwise is to deny God His glory for all the training He invested in me to do a work for Him.  I want to assure people in this questioning time that God is real, and His word is true.  We can depend on what He has written through the hands of the Old and New Testament prophets. I have personally found out that the Word stands the test. We can walk and talk with the Lord in the Spirit the same as the first disciples did while He ministered to them in the flesh.  Patriarch Abraham witnessed this.  Before condemning the place where Abraham’s nephew lived, God counseled one on one with Abraham.

And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do. Gen 18:17 

God loved Abraham and gave him opportunity to intercede for his loved ones.  In the New Testament, the Lord said that His Father shared knowledge with Him and He likewise informed His disciples of the things He did. 

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. Joh 15:15 

Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. Joh 16:13 

God wants to walk with us in life and share with us the things He is doing in the earth, but He only does that with those that are His friends.  As the scripture above states, God will share with us things of the past and the future as we walk with Him. I have been taught many things by the Spirit as I prayed, read the scripture or walked in footsteps similar to those of some biblical writers.  I understand the journey of people like Jeremiah, Job, David, Daniel, Esther, Timothy, Sarah, Moses, Paul, Deborah, and other characters of the bible because I had times when I experienced something similar to what they experienced, recognized their choice, and used their story to understand my dilemma.  That being said, I want to give further witness of the Lord through sharing more of my experience.  This testimony is primarily written for the benefit of Americans, even though the experiences of all people are rather similar when it comes to serving God.  However, America believes she is special, as a city sitting on the hill and set as a standard for other nations to follow.  So, it is important that America understands where she stands and has erred, lest she lead others in her misguided way.

Though brought up in a Christian home, I learned little about serving God until I became an adult.  While living in a sinful state, I had a dream that scared me so much that I never forgot it. I have shared this dream in previous writings.  In the dream, I was looking out my third-floor apartment window down onto the street below where I saw multitudes of people fighting in a terrible one-to-one battle. I later heard knocking at my door which I feared opening because I did not know whether it was friend or foe.  I remember the paralyzing fear of not being able to identify whether it was a friend or enemy merely by face or past familiarity.  This dream occurred in the early 70s and I attributed it to the racial discord of that era that was a common fear.

After getting saved about a decade later (which is a story in itself) and after years of studying scripture, I was surprised to come across a passage of scripture in the Old Testament that seemed to mirror my dream.  I had always believed the dream was a preview of some future event.  I had times when it seemed to be partially fulfilled, but the journey continued.  After watching the January 6th insurrection and experiencing the chaotic times following, I feel pretty sure most people got a sampling of the same type of emotions and fear I had experienced during my dream.  I did not immediately see the similarity to my dream because there was too much chaos for quiet reflection. The things I have experienced over the years, now in retrospect, explain why I always felt my Christian journey moved at a fast pace.  Without realizing it, I was growing by leaps and bounds pass fellow Christians.  I wondered why they seemed stagnant in their spiritual life while they probably wondered just as much about some aspects of my life.  The scriptures state that God sets the solitary in families (Ps. 68:6); so, we must realize that God sees the big picture and directs our path in ways we cannot understand.

A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. Pro 16:9 

Those that have been following my web site blog may be able to connect parts of my story from earlier writings online or in my books.  I knew early that God planned for me to share my Christian experiences with others and that I journeyed a certain path for that sharing. If I skipped a necessary step or experience, we went back and took care of it and checked off that box.  I knew I was being schooled but had no idea for what.  For example, let’s review my born-again experience.  During a time of family grief, I heard God tell me to leave DC and return to my hometown. I was led to join a church and told them that I had been baptized as a child.  Later, the Spirit convicted me that I needed to be baptized as an adult and it is a long story, but I was again baptized as an adult. Much later I would understand its importance, but I had obeyed by faith.  When the Spirit showed me that I needed to make public confession of accepting Christ as Savior (another long story), we took care to do it.  Mine was a tedious journey, but the Spirit of God was teaching me how to follow the Word of God and I gained understanding as I went along.  The bible tells us that when the Spirit comes He would lead us into all truth.  I walked through many scriptures of the bible in like manner.  I would read and study scripture; and then experienced things I was taught.  When tests and trials came, I wondered what I had missed and went back to search it out in the Word.  I believe the patience required for this process is a reason why some do not finish their course.  As I have learned and wrote previously, it is important to eat the whole roll (bible). Learning the correct way empowers us with knowledge of how to teach others correctly.

The reason I am writing this part of my testimony and sharing more of my story is because I want to give witness that God is real at a time when it is sorely needed.  Also, my experiences and teachings validated by scripture can help others consider their own experiences.  Paul advised Timothy: “But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry (2Ti 4:5).”  We live in a time when people are understandably skeptical about religious matters because truth has been perverted even in high places of authority. When I relay God’s message through my writings, people who do not know me need to be able to discern if my words align with scripture.  I believe God prepared me for this purpose, drilled certain things in me and led me to walk a certain path so that I could confidently help others while disputing the lie.  I hope my writings will successfully reach people that I may never see but will convey truth from God that they might not have otherwise received. 

As I looked for witnesses of what God was showing me, often there was no one available to help; but then the Spirit of God would sometimes lead me to people or writings that witnessed the truth.  Jesus admonished us that if we would seek, we would find.  Too often people fail to put in the effort that goes beyond merely listening to the preacher.  I want to encourage people to hunger and thirst for the Lord, as David did.  I often spiritually travelled around the world and back between Sunday services.  Some people have failed to understand that we are instructed to follow Christ, who is constantly talking and teaching, rather than merely follow church preaching.  As a matter of fact, Jesus did not say follow the preacher, but He said: “…If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Mt. 16:24).  The days we are living in now require that we seek the Lord more diligently ourselves because the times are trying and perilous. There are leaders who are themselves misguided and following strange paths so that following them could lead one into error.  One reason people are without a zeal for the Lord is that they have never met Him.  Paul admonished the saints to follow him as he followed Christ and he put forth a godly example.  At some point we will have to make the decision to follow HIM.  So, there are many churches that have set up a path that does not resemble Christ and we should use the testimony of scripture to witness the truth.  As I have said before, leaders cannot lead you where they have never been.  The church needs to renew its zeal for the Lord.  We must enter at the straight gate and walk in the correct way to enter in life. 

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.  Mt. 7:13-14 

The very reason that so many are saying that America is on the wrong path and headed to destruction is because it is true.  Our nation may have started out with a strong preference for God, but it has veered off track to where spiritual and civic leaders now seek personal wealth and power instead.  Leaders of the nation elected to guide their constituents have sought ways of self-fulfillment through oppression of the vulnerable and gain of personal wealth that has promoted a corrupt system of government that has put us on the road to destruction. While wealth and money are not evil, Jesus gave warning that the love of money is treasonous. Lust for money has no loyalty to God, family or nation; and, as a result, we have seen those who lusted for wealth end up betraying previous loyalties for more money. Many are on that wrong path and will see destruction as a reward of their labor if they do not change course.  That is the dilemma of America’s path today. 

There are nations around us that believe they are just as godly or more as America and they feel just as deserving or more so in expecting God’s help than this nation. Reports continually leak that some American citizens have aligned themselves with hostile nations for the purpose of wealth that has made the nation vulnerable to her enemies. Threats of war and warfare are signs of the end time as well as warnings of God’s disapproval of a people. American exceptionism is no longer a shiny example to others around who see her failings.  That is the reason why individual citizens must know the Lord for themselves.  The rapture will receive up individual souls, not churches or nations.  Individual believers can take it upon themselves to intercede for their church or nation, take up the charge to denounce evil leadership, and help cleanse their environment of sin, while helping to develop a better society.  If our leaders have failed us, we must be the new Joshua’s.  If past reputation alone was reason enough to save our institutions or nation, then the first Jewish Temple designed by God and its God-led people would have withstood the adversary’s attacks.  However, God cares more about obedience than past reputations.  We must be willing to change an unfruitful course, admit our misguidance and choose to follow the right path.

My journey has been not only to find Christ for myself but to share my knowledge of the Lord with others and help them to follow the right path.  We cannot just follow leaders blindly, but we must read the Word of God and know the Lord for ourselves.  I believe primarily my witness is to let people know that they must develop a personal relationship with the Lord, rather than just believe in church rituals for righteousness.  I have seen the Hand of God move mightily on my behalf to save me when threaten by times of starvation and freezing, physical assault and poverty, homelessness and the lure to the temptation of wealth, trouble in the court room and prevention of jail, from sexual assault and crazy car accidents and fire, from mental attacks and formed conspiracies, from those who tried to take me out or misuse me, from witch attack and spiritual sabotage, from sicknesses and death, from temptations and lack, from abandonment and abuse, from loneliness and despair and from ignorance and pride.  David assures us in Ps. 34:19 that “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.”  James teaches us that divers temptations and trying of our faith worketh patience.   However, one miracle that I know God worked to deliver me from the devil’s snare, so blew my mind until I said to myself, God must surely have something He wants me to do.  Because of that particular miracle, I am fully persuaded that there is nothing the devil can do to take out any obedient child of God until they have completed their assignment, which Jesus alluded to in Lk 13:32, is witnessed by Paul’s stoning in Act 14:19, and guarded of angels.  

It is a privilege and a joy to live in God’s power, Spirit, and love. Because I spent so many hours and days under the tutorage of the Lord’s spirit, it is my responsibility to pour back into others.  I have tried to reach people through my gospel tracts, leaflets, articles, books, and radio broadcasts.  I have been so grateful for God’s help in my time of need that I would not want anyone to miss getting the knowledge necessary to believe God.  I hope my journey and testimony (yes rebukes too) have been a help to witness for Christ.  Early in my faith I asked God some pretty big questions and He has been faithful to answer them through time.  I have always had a strong determination to know the truth and understand the Word. The Spirit of God has so bountifully supplied me with answers, help and encouragement by the Spirit until I would not dare hold back from others what He so freely gave me. 

I have seen my share of successes and failures, but we all must walk a similar journey to seek the Lord by faith. Mistakes do not define us as we struggle to overcome them to be faithful to God.  God is a forgiving God; and He faithfully guides the yielded heart.  He knows our whole story before He calls us, yet He still chooses to use us. Some of God’s best warriors (like Moses) wanted to turn back because of their personal flaws.  God says when we are weak His grace is sufficient because His strength is made perfect in weakness.  

God gives His children the ability to discern the enemy.  He has promised to fight our battles, but we are not ignorant of the children of darkness. The reason we can identify those on the wrong path is because when you follow the Word and the Spirit of God, light will always reveal what is in the dark. Likewise, while I shine the light of the Word, that light should help unveil darkness for the reader.  Perhaps God’s revealing of darkness will help bring forth some new Joshua’s or Daniel’s to the forefront to turn the nation around.

But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. Eph 5:13 

I thought this writing would have been so much longer, but if light has shone in the darkness, then a good work has been accomplished. If darkness has been revealed so that right and wrong could be distinguished, then people have what they needed to act accordingly.  We have seen God pull the cover off so much darkness in high places so that we can separate ourselves from the darkness He revealed around us and no longer be blind.  God promised to do a separating of the wheat and tare so we should be cognizant of the time.  I suggest those that want to make the right choice, read all of scripture; but particularly take time to read Ephesians 5 entitled: Walk in Love.  “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them (Eph 5:11).”  Many Americans want to put everyone on the same level as being acceptable and okay, but God would have us to make a difference between the good and the evil.  King Solomon compared choosing evil to taking fire into one’s bosom (Pro. 6:27). We are to reprove evil, not set it on a pedestal as being good.  We are seeing such boldness in evil today as to dare the righteous to try to stop them.  There is a cost for living holy and the separation even gives witness to the lost of who they are.  America has not accepted all ethnicities as equal partners of God’s blessings but will welcome all kinds of social behavior as equal and acceptable.  God accepts all kinds of people, but He does not accept all kinds of behavior.  God’s net of salvation might catch fish of all kinds, but they must all take on God’s likeness and be holy in the end.  While you look to determine what is wrong in our world, let me assure you that there is nothing wrong with Jesus Christ.  There is nothing wrong with the true Christian gospel or with Yahweh, our God.  We must first acknowledge our own faults, which is repentance; and then in serving God, we will be able to see the failings of the world around us.

I want to conclude as an ambassador of the Lord that God has allowed America to see what is in her nature: both its strength and its weaknesses.  He has revealed the darkness and pulled it out into the open for all to see. It is up to us what we do with that information.  The strength of the chain depends on the strength of the links. The rebellious spirit we have seen at the forefront of America in recent days is not that of Christ.  Christ is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost; and He loves all people.  People should not be deceived by leaders who are uncharacteristically poor examples of leadership of Christ.  Remember Apostle Paul warned the church that “Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light” (2Co 11:14).  If we choose to accept evil to lead us, we will become an evil people and be subject to judgment.  If we change and decide to do what is right, we and our nation will prosper for generations to come.  I have been a witness that God can save us as individuals outside of and despite our group and that He will still be faithful to protect and provide for us while He calls us out of darkness.  The love of God is giving us the choice.  The love of God has allowed us to fight one another in the house to break the bands of wickedness so that we could yet gather strength to withstand battles to come for which we were not prepared.  “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (Pro 27:17).  We should be stronger now to stand together and fight our mutual enemies from without rather than fighting our brethren within the house, but the strength of God will prevail over evil.  Therefore, God’s children that have fallen must get up, the sleeping must become alert, and the weak must get more strength to stand.  We are called to pray for and help those that are in our house; that’s love.  Just as dark contrasts light, so has black contrasted white and Jew contrasted the gentiles.  God has provoked us all to jealousy (Rom. 10:19).  I am not led to  break that word down any further at this time, but the believer can study it out for a deeper message.

For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. 2 Co 11:2 

Apostle Paul revealed to us that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God and yet all people have a right to be forgiven of sin through Christ and be part of His kingdom.  Even though the enemy is destined to use somebody for warfare, we should make sure it is not our brethren who resides with us in the house and who we are responsible to pray for and cover with the love of Jesus.  The chaos of our world is waiting for the love of Jesus to appear and quench its fire and Jesus is waiting for us to stand up and be His body and represent Him in the earth. Since love is the proof of perfection and Jesus in us is that pure love, let us put off false affections and strive to put on God’s pure love that will bring forth real joy to bless us in this life and the one to come.

I have waited for the Lord to give me direction on how He would have me to teach what He has unfolded to me over the years and yet I know the scripture bares witness that it is God who is waiting on us to get in position to receive.  I will be praying and seeking God for confirmation, but I feel led to make myself available to those that want personal instruction in scripture similar to that which I have received of the Lord and to do so in a group of people in my local area of Durham, North Carolina, or other places as He opens the door.  If you are interested in being a part of a serious biblical study and guidance through the scriptures of what God is speaking to us at this time that is in line with the prior teaching on this website, let me know by email (jrpmail2003@yahoo.com) your location and the number of people uniting for the session that will meet once, weekly, or monthly.  I will, with the help of the Lord, try to accommodate those seeking such help. I believe that there are those who are I was, seeking to follow the Lord more closely but need more guidance as I did.  I look forward to hearing your prayerful response.  Meanwhile, I hope you will enjoy this Valentine’s Day token given by inspiration of the Spirit a year ago.


For it pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell…  Col 1:10

By J R Payne

When I was lost, He found me.

When I did not know which way to go, He directed me.

When I was hungry, He fed me.

When I was lonely, He comforted me.

When I was without a friend, He was my best friend.

When I was confused, He gave me understanding.

When I was broke, He provided for me.

When I was sick, He healed me.

Jesus is enough; He is our everything.

You may think what you need is a properly prepared meal.

You may think it is in notoriety, being loved or befriended by all.

You may think it is in finding that special man or woman.

You may think that it is in hitting that certain high that seems allusive.

You may think that in any or all these things that if you could obtain it,

   you would be happy, content, satisfied.

But you could have any or all of these things and still not have

  the satisfaction reached only in finding the Lord.

Jesus is enough

He is what you have been wanting, desiring, seeking,

  but did not know where to find it.

It is a desire beyond what has been acquired but could never be gained.

He is that missing part, that allusive something that you could not obtain.

When we find Jesus, we find joy, contentment, satisfaction, completeness and fulfillment because,

Jesus is enough.

You may be the king over the kingdom like Saul or Solomon and yet not be satisfied.

Solomon sought the best of foods, the most exotic women, and the riches of the world.

And at the end of trying all of those things and everything that he could think to try

His conclusion was: vanity of vanities, all is vanity.

This man had it all: money, cuisine, exotic women, land, and everything obtainable at his hand.

Yet He finally concluded that none of it satisfied him like the knowledge of his God.

And we, too, must come to the place where we realize that none of those things is enough.

Because we can have all of those things, as did Solomon, and still be empty inside and unsatisfied.

We could be without all those material things and yet be satisfied because,

Jesus is enough

To Him, at birth, the great kings of the east came and they bowed down.

And they gave Him their great treasures because they had found

  a King above all kings, a Ruler above all rulers, a Lover greater than earthly love.

They had found the King of kings, the Lord of Lord, the Great I AM.

They had found the ultimate of all things that one could desire.

And when they found Him, they bowed down and worshipped Him.

We are told that as He sits on the throne, the four and twenty elders bow down

   and the angels cry: Holy, Holy, Holy!

We are told that the cherubim surround Him with heavenly music.

We are told that those that have gone on before us, worship Him   

  and they too, cry: Holy, Holy, Holy!

And we that are on the earth that wait to sit as His feet, we too, cry:

  Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord thy art Holy!

For He is our Lord God Almighty!

Whether we are in heaven and sit at His feet in worship,

   or whether on earth awaiting our new bodies that will live eternally with Him,

We can still be before Him and enjoy His presence.

But while we wait on the earth, we must be changed; we must become like Him.

This flesh must one day put on immortality.                                                    

Before then our hearts must be changed.

Our lives must be surrendered to Him.

We must take on peace.

We must take on love.

We must find our contentment in Him.

Can we while we yet live make the decision that,

Jesus is enough?

And some may say I want Jesus, but can I still have the good things of this life?

Jesus employs us to enjoy the good things of this life that He has created and given for our enjoyment.

It is okay to have things, but these things must not have us or consume us,

  because none of those things will make us complete or whole in the end.

Only Jesus is enough!

And once we have Jesus, He is willing to bless us with all things.

But these things must never come between us and our God.

For that would be idol worship.

And He is a jealous God who will not tolerate idolatry.

But when we truly honor who God is,

He enjoys watching us enjoy the good things of this life in their proper place.

Because He has given us all things to enjoy in His presence and at His feet.

But what will it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?

Solomon answered that question and we have come to realize

  none of those things would profit us in the end.

They would all be vanity of vanities, unable to comfort the soul.

But we must come to realize what the Father told us is true,

  nothing will give us that great joy and peace that we desire like

  fellowship with the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

And so the Father has sent His Son, Jesus; and Jesus has come

  and purchased the way back to the Father, leaving us His Sweet Holy Spirit

  that we might enjoy fellowship with the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

And as we enjoy that fellowship, we will become like Him.

So we may then enjoy fellowship with one another.

Because as each of us, become more like Him;

  we are drawn in a great love and fellowship together where we worship

   the same God, the same Lord, and the same Holy Spirit.

And we fulfill the prayer and desire of the Son that He prayed to the Father on the cross:

Father, I desire that they may be one with us.

And then we will be one with the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

And we can be one with each other.

We will become like Him so that when we come together to commune and worship,

  we do so in oneness of spirit, that cannot be duplicated.

That is the Father’s desire, that is the Son’s mission,

  and that is the Holy Spirit’s purpose: to bring us into that love, fellowship and communion

  that can only come through Christ and His Holy Spirit.

It is the thing that we have longed for without knowing it.

It is the desire of our heart that we had never before realized.

It is that joy that we had hoped for.

It is the promise of the Father, and of the Son and of the Sweet Holy Spirit.

All men everywhere seek to prove their worth, importance, and power. 

They seek something that is worth the living.

Men have sought it from times untold.

Men have lived and died without obtaining what they sought.

And yet the Father still says: Come, come to me and find pure joy, pure love and hope fulfilled.

Why would we resist having our hearts made tender and our joy fulfilled?

We need look no further; we can have it all in this moment,

  through humbly bowing in prayer to the Lord to receive all of Him.

Though it is more than we can contain, we need look no further because,

Jesus is enough!

August 2022

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s